Dual....:-)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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