I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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