I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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