dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
