nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
