38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the day after is always just damage control
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
