I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
