How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
