This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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