discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have fence marks all over my body
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
