17 year olds will be the death of me.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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