it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
