I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
