my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just found a bag of teeth...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
