how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
