You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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