Jerry, you need to find god
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's rum buckets o'clock
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize