So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
