You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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