So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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