I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
