I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
