I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
