she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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