i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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