did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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