I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize