I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
they're like a gay fantastic four
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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