woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
