Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My feet surprised me
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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