It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
