we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
