I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
