You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
