so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
