I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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