: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
