Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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