I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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