Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Couch. On fire.
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