so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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