dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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