oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
