Buhtt sex?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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