Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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