Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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