if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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