You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He? As in you personified your dick?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
