garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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