She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
