I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
