careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize