I just cut my nipple shaving
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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