oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
