STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize