No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize