I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
