I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
