your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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