2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
