i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
