I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
