Sponge bath it is.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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