We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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