Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
