Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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