Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize