They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
