is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You pole danced in your parka.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize