they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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