he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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