my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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