I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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