he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
