If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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